Save the Penguins!

Posted on 11. Mar, 2010 by Erika Kim in Debate

Peter Katz contributed reporting for this article.

There is a problem that has been weighing heavily on our minds since the Adventist Intercollegiate Association meeting in Washington, D.C., last year.  During that meeting, we had the opportunity to travel to St. Peter’s (The GC building) to see the Pope (Jan Paulsen).  Along the way, to build anticipation, they showed us a great many completely uninteresting desks where somewhat interesting people do mostly uninteresting things.  Of those things, the most interesting was a giant globe, where, when our guide pushed a button, all the Adventist missions around the world would light up.  She did it.  People oohed and aahed.  We were horrified.

There were no lights on Antarctica.

Do you know what this means?   There are penguins who do not know about Jesus!  Our little black-and-white brothers are every day dying without knowing their Lord and Savior.  Each penguin mercilessly slaughtered by a leopard seal (see alumna Jaylene Chung’s article on leopard seals)[1] will waddle about confusedly on the day of the Second Coming, only to be consumed by fire in the second death.  This is a crisis for our church far more important than the origin of the universe or homo***uality.

Speaking of which, just pray about this example.  Two penguins at a zoo in Germany—granted, this is a European zoo, and therefore, completely evil—Z and Vielpunkt, are homo***uals.  Yes.  You heard us.  Penguins committing the ultimate sin.  They were even allowed to hatch an egg together.  We are not sure if this says more about the Germans or penguins, but we are fairly certain that both of them need some severe evangelizing.  To the face.

In the discussion of penguin breeding habits, Wikipedia talks about their agonistic behaviors.  Seeing as we are both English majors, we do not actually understand what this means, but we do know that it is suspiciously close to the word “agnostic,” which is code for “pansy atheist.”  And whose fault is this?  Ours.

According to Wikipedia, the first penguin fossils date back to 62 million years ago.  Do you understand what this implies?  Penguins still believe in evolution.  Forget La Sierra; an entire continent believes that they came from monkeys.  Honestly, we are not entirely sure what penguins believe they came from, but whatever it is, if it wasn’t the third day of creation, it is wrong.

Two major species of penguin are the “Emperor” and “King” penguins.  Yes, you heard us.  Not only do penguins believe in homo***uality, not only are they agnostics, not only do they believe in evolution, they also do not know about democracy. This is a travesty that has moved beyond religion to the very essence of being.  As Christians, and most importantly, as Amurrkans, we are obligated to stop this madness.

The C2 therefore advocates the following.  First, we must spread democracy across Antarctica via the use of various and sundry long-range missiles.  Once the initial strike is complete, we must land cold-weather troops at key points across the continent, where they can set up road blocks and begin working with the locals to stomp out any cute little “insurgents.”  After peace has been established, and an interim democratic government has been set up, it is our time.  Armed with our Bibles, The Great Controversy, and love in our hearts, we must storm the pagan shores of penguindom and bring them to the gates of heaven.

WTH is a meme?

Posted on 11. Mar, 2010 by Erika Kim in Culture

How many times have you heard people referencing “Charlie bit me,” “all your base,” or “I can has cheezburger”?  If you answered less than 50 times, you’re probably out of the meme loop.  If you’re out of the meme loop, you pretty much deprive yourself of any reference points that keep you connected to friends and family, and render yourself socially/culturally irrelevant ).  Think about it.  How many of your jokes, references, quotes, inside jokes, and conversations came from an internet meme?  I would bet about 10 dollars that it’s probably a lot of them.

Now, the person who finds the latest internet meme is like the cool kid in elementary school who was the first to get the shoes that lit up when they walked (remember those?).  Finding memes on the internet is like finding hidden jewels.  They are so time sensitive that by the time you find out about an internet meme and send it to a friend, it becomes so five minutes ago.  And right when you think the internet cannot possibly top the last meme, they come out with more.  Not only are they time sensitive, there is absolutely no logic to them at all.  Due to the temporary fleeting quality of memes and their illogical nature, there is an artificial sense of exclusivity and value that makes them so great.  By the time you find out about an internet meme and send it to a friend, it becomes so five minutes ago.  Then, right when you think the internet cannot possibly top the last meme, they come out with more.

To keep up with memes, you have to be a part of a community that puts value into it.  Whether you’re huddling around a computer with friends or checking out a forum alone, there is always a sense of connection that occurs in sharing the experience of an internet meme.  You know there are people who have decided to like the same things as you, just cause, and that they are “in.”  Obviously, these people “get it.”  The memes would not be as funny on their own.  There always has to be a unified community that appreciates it together.  We make each other mean.  The meme gives us community, and the community gives meaning to memes.  I love walking around and hearing strangers make random references to memes because it establishes an automatic connection and makes me realize that we’re all a part of something really big called the wonderful world of teh internetz.

Internet memes are absurd, and it’s virtually (hehe) impossible to understand why we like them.  They make you sit there and say, “I don’t know wtf this is, but it’s magic and I think like it.”  Even Freud wouldn’t be able to explain the mystery of memes in terms of what they reveal about the human unconscious.  They are one of the few things make you feel extreme confusion, curiosity, concern, and wonder, all at the same time.  Things like Tom Selleck and giant sandwiches photo shopped into pictures of waterfalls make my brain exclaim, “Why?” and “YES!” at the same time.  I don’t know how or why peopleofwalmart.com make me laugh so hard, or how a three minute epic beard man video clip can end up eating 30 minutes of my day.  What is it about seeing a surprised looking owl with the caption “O RLY?” that makes the picture so perfect and appropriate?  No matter how long I analyze these things, I can’t figure out what they mean, or why I like them.  They simply are amazing.  But what is a meme, exactly?  Here is the closest I’ve come to defining it: omg + lol + wtf + yay = meme.

Netiquette: Instant Message

Posted on 11. Mar, 2010 by Erika Kim in Debate

Our generation has been bombarded with technology that has revolutionized the way we communicate with one another.  Before, we were limited to letters, cards, and phone calls to get a hold of someone.  Now we have other mediums of communication like emails, instant message, text message, etc. due to the flood of computers, laptops, cell phones, or any other variation or combination of the aforementioned (since now we have camera-video-phone-laptop-mp3 player-navigation-laser-toaster ovens) that we don’t know how to properly use.  Email, instant messenger, video chatting, etc. have changed the level of convenience, amount of time it takes to communicate, and the style in which we communicate.  Everything is so new (relatively speaking) that we have no set etiquette to follow and the freedom is somewhat paralyzing.  Technology has made it easier to keep us connected, but if we don’t know how to use it, it ends up making us just a little more neurotic and ends up separating us even more.

The one program I wanted to deal with specifically was any for of instant messaging programs like AIM, Facebook chat, Skype, MSN messenger, etc.  They have changed the way in which we communicate by announcing our availability to several people at once and allowing us to have instant responses.

An instant message is not a phone call.  You may be thinking, “Uh… DUH!”  But let me explain.  When you communicate using a phone, you lose a lot of context clues like facial cues, body language, and the environment around you and the person you’re communicating with.  At the same time, however, talking on the phone tends to be more effective means of communication because despite the fact that you lose all those clues, hearing the other person’s voice still has elements of intimacy, and you can almost always immediately clarify ambiguity.

It’s also one of the least elegant mediums of communication for the following reasons: 1. the disconnect between people due to the lack of intimacy, 2. signing on announces your presence and implied availability to everyone and puts you in an awkward situation where you feel a sense of obligation to start a conversation with everyone on your buddy list, 3. unlike a phone where you can hang up at the end of a conversation, there is no elegant way to cut a conversation short when you’ve run out of things to say, 4. sometimes the instant nature of messaging puts an unnecessary pressure and sense of urgency on the conversation. (One minute of AIM silence makes you paranoid about where the other person is and you mentally backtrack thinking of all the parts of the conversation that may have offended the other person).

Things are different when it comes to instant messages.  Regardless of how well you know someone, it’s easy to misunderstand or second guess what is meant via text because it’s so detached.  This is why emoticons are somewhat necessary to help the meaning get across.  For example, if you were to read “That’s funny,” without a smiley, winky face, or lol, it could have several meanings.  It might mean exactly what it says, it could be a really mean, passive aggressive comment, or it could mean they were offended by what you said.  Without some kind of smiley, winky face, lol, or several follow up clarifying comments, it’s impossible to know what a person means.

Instant messages can be tricky as well because the sense of urgency can be difficult to deal with.  Whether you just signed on or are in the middle of a conversation, if you aren’t talking with each other, you get pressured by the fact that you know that the person is sitting right there, and they know you’re sitting right there.

Another issue, and perhaps the most sad one is the fact that most instant messaging programs have a feature that allows users to sign on as invisible (invisible, of course, being the new “away”) indicating that we can’t handle the implied sense of obligation.  We are scared of connecting, yet at the same time, the reason why we sign on in the first place is to feel connected to an online community.  So basically, what has happened is there are a bunch of people who all sign in as invisible because they’re lonely, but are afraid to start a conversation or get trapped into one by another.  It’s like being afraid of the phone.  Good thing we’re scared to use the medium of communication to umm… communicate.

The feature may be somewhat necessary because sometimes you sign on and a chat box pops up from that one “crazy girl in history class” before your buddy list even finishes loading, and you get caught in something I like to call the INSTANT MESSAGE TRAP OF DEATH.  In this trap you have two options: to either look like a jerk and pretend that you only wanted to sign on for .5 seconds, or talk to her about the nothing she had to say and end up sitting there awkwardly trying to think of things to talk about.  It’s because of people like “crazy history class girl” that we have internet problems, so let’s address this.

As dictator for life, I propose that everyone implement the following policies in order to improve/correct the dysfunctions that arise from instant messaging systems.  Your benevolent mother leader with facial hair is looking out for you:

Only message someone if you actually have something to say or ask.  One of the easiest problems to fix would be the false sense of obligation that arises from signing on.  Let people know that if you’re online and don’t message someone, and they don’t message you, neither party should/would be offended.

Don’t do the passive aggressive “I’m here but not” thing, and when you say something, really mean it.  For example, if you stay online but don’t want to chat, let people know that it’s not because you hate them; you just don’t need to be chatting.

If you’re shooting them a brief message, let them know that’s all you have to say before you say it, that way you can make a clean break on both sides.

As for other ambiguities, tell people how you operate online.  Everyone knows their own style of online behavior.  Make sure they can at least get a general idea of your internet persona so they can know what to expect.

The best thing to do is probably to make it clear to people face to face what has happened or will happen online.

Also, this is a small Easter egg and completely random tangent for people who have read this far into the article: does it bug the crap out of anyone else when they’re sending a cell phone text to someone who has a different network and the text gets cut to 160 characters?  GOSH!  Also, also, don’t send reply texts that only have the word “K” in it.

PUC Haters

Posted on 18. Nov, 2009 by Erika Kim in Column

You hear it all the time.

“Worship/Colloquy credit is so unfair!”

“Caf’ food is terrible!”

“Curfew is so stupid.”

“Why can’t we have co-ed dorms?”

“I HATE PUC!”

There is a group of people on campus I like to refer to as PUC haters.  These are the people who are constantly complaining about the way PUC looks, sounds, smells, feels, and tastes, starting with the Angwin sign to the cafe all the way up to McReynolds.

There are a few reasons why we gripe about things, and not all of them are bad.  At times, it’s a way to relieve stress, sometimes it’s a reference point that allows us to connect to other people, and other times it’s a way to voice our frustrations and bring attention to issues.  To a certain extent, that’s fine.

However, for those who feel strongly and earnestly about their negative opinions and criticisms of PUC, more needs to be done than making fun of and moaning over the way PUC is.  Instead, we should focus on what PUC can become and how we can make that happen.  This is the school we all attend.  If we are still choosing to go here (and by choosing not to transfer, that is what we’re doing), we either need to change our attitudes, or do what we can to help the school evolve.

Getting things to change is hard, but using that as a reason to be apathetic is not acceptable.  Yes, there are issues that need to be addressed.  Yes, some of us here are unhappy with the way things are run, and might be happier under a different system.  However, we can’t sit back and hope for change to happen on its own.

If you want to make a case about caf’ food, make a valid point about how having vegetarian food does not translate to being healthy cuisine, which was the original point of having a vegetarian diet.  Make suggestions that can improve the menu and quality of the food.  If you want to have other privileges, put away your sense of entitlement and act like adults who deserve them.  Be responsible enough not to violate the terms of those privileges, and then fight to get things changed.

Educate yourself on what is actually going on and figure out how to get things changed.  Investigate issues, talk to people, get a group together, and then do something.  Instead of whining, make valid complaints.  If you’re not willing to put in the work to try to get things changed, stop blaming PUC, stop making excuses, and stop whining.

I don’t exempt myself from my own criticism.  In fact, I will be the first to admit that I’m tremendously guilty of this.  If you see me walking around here, nine times out of ten I’m complaining about something wrong on campus.  However, I realize that criticizing caf’ food does not make it any better, and criticizing worship credit does not make the system’s existence any less real.

As obvious as this statement might sound, it is important to remember that having issues with the system is not something that is exclusive to PUC campus.  Every place has its issues, and when we leave PUC, there will be other (and probably much larger) issues that we’ll be faced with.  While this may not be taught in a classroom by a professor, this is all a part of our education.  Learning how to deal with issues here will teach us how to work on the larger ones out there.

WASC

Posted on 18. Nov, 2009 by Erika Kim in Campus

Melissa Totton contributed to this article.

As you may already know, WASC has recently come through PUC.  WASC, or Western Association of Schools and Colleges, is an organization that “is recognized as one of six regional associations that accredit public and private schools, colleges, and universities in the United States” (www.wascweb.org).  So for those that doubt the respectability of PUC, know that this school meets the standards of WASC and has received accreditation as a legitimate educational establishment.

The four standards for accreditation that PUC meets are:

1. Defining Institutional Purposes and Ensuring Educational Objectives:  The institution defines its purposes and establishes educational objectives aligned with its purposes and character. It has a clear and conscious sense of its essential values and character, its distinctive elements, its place in the higher educational community and its relationship to society at large. Through its purposes and educational objectives, the institution dedicates itself to higher learning, the search for truth, and the dissemination of knowledge. The institution functions with integrity and autonomy.

2. Achieving Educational Objectives through Core Functions:  The institution achieves its institutional purposes and attains its educational objectives through the core functions of teaching and learning, scholarship and creative activity, and support for student learning. It demonstrates that these core functions are performed effectively and that they support one another in the institution’s efforts to attain educational effectiveness.

3. Developing and Applying Resources and Organizational Structures to Ensure Sustainability:  The institution sustains its operations and supports the achievement of its educational objectives through its investment in human, physical, fiscal and information resources and through an appropriate and effective set of organizational and decision-making structures.

These key resources and organizational structures promote the achievement of institutional purposes and educational objectives and create a high quality environment for learning.

4. Creating an Organization Committed to Learning and Improvement:  The institution conducts sustained, evidence-based, and participatory discussions about how effectively it is accomplishing its purposes and achieving its educational objectives. These activities inform both institutional planning and systematic evaluations of educational effectiveness. The results of institutional inquiry, research, and data collection are used to establish priorities at different levels of the institution, and to revise institutional purposes, structures, and approaches to teaching, learning, and scholarly work.  (http://www.puc.edu/academics/accreditation/about-wasc-accreditation, click Criteria for review).

PUC made a statement about four themes they would use to guide and focus their work throughout the accreditation process:  The four they used are:

1. A Learning Community: We will both de­velop a more intentional culture of evidence and use that evidence to strengthen our community of learners.

2. Stewardship: We will develop systematic processes for the stewardship of our im­portant resources—including land develop­ment, endowment building, and enrollment management—and ensure that the assess­ment and planning that we engage in actu­ally guide budgeting and decision-making.

3. A Culture of Service: We will enhance the already strong culture of compassionate ser­vice across campus, making it the hallmark of a PUC education by providing opportu­nities to serve locally and globally while in school as well as thoughtful and intentional preparation for a life of on-going service.

4. Conversations about Faith, Learning, and Adventist Identity: We will encourage free, honest, and critical conversations, in and out of the classroom, about the relationships between faith and learning, and about the meaning and value of being a Seventh-day Adventist Christian in the twenty-first century. (http://www.puc.edu/__data/assets/pdf_file/0016/14056/Final-Proposal.pdf)

1.  A Learning Community

The first theme that PUC has is that of a Community of Learning. It is a goal of PUC to encourage every person on campus (not just the students or professors) to seek out new knowledge and constantly be learning. That being said, we have a mighty fine school here at PUC.  According to U.S News & World Report in their annual “Best Colleges” issue, PUC is one of the best colleges you can go to. As of their 2010 issue, we are ranked 11 for best baccalaureate college on the West coast.

And don’t even get us started on our professors. From the sciences to the arts, PUC is stacked with some of the best in the field, and it shows in their lectures, one-on-one conversations, and expertise. Many faculty here are well known and respected in the world of academia, and we, as students, should be honored and grateful to learn from such intelligent and respectable people instead of complaining of the amount of homework they give out.

2.  Stewardship

Stewardship is actually a big deal here at PUC. No matter which way you turn, there is always something to do with stewardship. From the recycling center to the Eco-village project to the Amnesty International chapter here at PUC, there are people taking responsibility and taking care of this world and others in it.

For instance, though many of us love to complain about it, Bon Appétit is actually very conscious of taking care of this world. They provide us with food bought locally to stimulate local economy as well as save on carbon emissions by not buying food from places farther away. So, what does this have to do with you, the students? Well, for one, we could all learn a little lesson or two. Instead of throwing your candy wrappers, bottles, and other trash on the ground (it’s true; we’ve seen it happen) why doesn’t everyone try using one of the many trashcans or recycling bins here on campus? Want to faculty, staff, and everyone else to take you seriously as an adult? Try cleaning up after yourself in the cafeteria. Your mom didn’t follow you to school (if she did, that’s a whole other issue that needs to be addressed at another time), and I am sure that she taught you how to clean your own place off the table. It’s all apart of taking care of this campus and each other.

If you want our honest opinion, we think that stewardship is the key to being taken seriously. Once people can see that students are taking responsibility for their own behavior and looking after the world that we live in (starting locally on our own campus), then we will start being treated like adults. And don’t be afraid to call your friends out. If someone you know leaves a mess, tell them you think it’s gross. Be proactive and help everyone else catch on.

3.  A culture of service

PUC does an excellent job of providing opportunities for students to serve the community.  We have a wide range of programs that have impact locally and worldwide such as Kidz Reach, Homeless Ministry, Amnesty International, World Missions, and Health Ministry.

PUC as an educational establishment also does an excellent job of providing students with a culture of service through the professors.  One aspect of PUC that allows the professors to serve the students so well is the simple fact that PUC has such a small campus.  The professor to student ratio makes it possible for every student to have access to face time with the teachers.  Not only are students able to ask teachers for help with their classes, they are also able to establish relationships with each other.  At many other colleges and universities, this is almost impossible.  The professors here are clearly dedicated and passionate about what they do, and they provide the best service to students as both a mentor and friend.

However, the culture of service that PUC could improve on is addressing other concerns of the students.  There are students who feel as though they are helpless to change things on campus due to a lack of voice.  By encouraging students to speak up on issues, PUC could improve their sensitivity to students’ criticisms.

4.  Conversations on faith, learning and Adventist identity

PUC is quite a progressive campus, especially in comparison to many other Adventist establishments.  However, there is always room for improvement, and we can always be doing more as a school to challenge students to have conversations on faith, learning, and Adventist identity.

Adventist identity has become dominated by the idea of maintaining status quo, as far as the application of the religion goes.  However, in light of today’s ever-changing society, this is not enough.  By maintaining status quo and refusing to adapt to the culture of today, we render ourselves irrelevant and ineffective.  Followers of Adventism don’t learn and grow in their faith, and they become isolated in their own bubble of outdated practices.  We certainly have constructed a strong Adventist identity both in and outside of our community, but there is always more we could be doing to improve it.

Pursuing the idea of progressive revelation does introduce the threat of compromise to Adventism, but this fear should not be the reason to remain stagnant.  In order to keep Adventist beliefs and principles relevant to our generation, we need to be able to apply them effectively.  Although the beliefs and principles remain the same, the application of them must be changing to adapt to the culture they are in.

A Clinical Study on the Viability of a Pantsless Society

Posted on 11. Oct, 2009 by Erika Kim in Debate

There is a problem on campus, people, and it’s called PANTS.  “Pants” is actually an acronym for a piece of clothing that is: Pricey, Annoying, uNnecessary, Tight, Size.  Yes, I realize I’m cheating with “uNnecessary,” and yes, I cheated with the “Tight” and “Size” thing.  I had to do it, and you will see why in a moment.  We will discuss these out of order, starting with “A” for annoying.

Annoying:

Some of the things we constantly encounter when dealing with pants are having pants constantly slipping off when we are walking or running around, and having to readjust them every time we sit and stand up.  There is no escaping this constant readjusting whether we are sitting down or on the go.

It’s also annoying when you’re done with a meal and have that food baby pouch that is impossible to hide because your pants let it all hang out.  For those of you who wear pants that have legs that are too long, constantly pulling them up to keep them from dragging on the floor can be annoying as well.

My personal favorite is when it’s raining; pants do an awesome job of soaking up water and clinging to the back of your calves.

Size:

If you’re one of the lucky few who can buy whatever pants you want because your body is that perfect, I congratulate you.  Then, I will probably spread rumors about you and slap a sign on your back that says “I am a jerk who fits into any pair of pants I want; kick me.”

Remember that one time when you had those perfect pants that hugged you in all the right spots?  Neither do we.  Ask yourself, how many times have you been in a fitting room thinking, “These pants are so flattering!  They were made just for me!”?  Think long and hard about that, and then while you do I’ll answer that question.  Pretty much NEVER!

You have idioms like “fits like a glove,” but you never hear people say “fits like a pair of pants/jeans/bellbottoms.”  It’s no wonder why that hasn’t caught on.  It’s because there is no such thing as pants that fit correctly.

Usually they are too tight on the waist while being too loose on the legs (or vice versa), the legs are too long or too short, or the way the pants fit gives you makes your behind look like two deflated balloons.  If the pants fit you, you want it in a different design or color, and of course, they no longer have it in your size.  In the end, we all settle for the pair of pants that are the most compatible with our body types, but it doesn’t change the fact that it is a compromise.

Pricey:

Then there is the matter of paying for them.  We go to the counter, and the cashier asks you for $70 to get a pair of jeans that kind of sort of fits.  Either you pay $70 for socially acceptable pants that fit funny, or you get pants for $15 that look like something that came from a different century in addition to fitting funny.

Tightness:

The latest trend of skinny jeans for both girls and guys has been questionable.  They work well for girls who wear them with boots, and they can be pulled off by some guys as well.  Personally, I like slim fit jeans, but when they’re so tight they start to look like stockings… yyyeeeeahhhh…

Whether you decide skinny jeans look good or not is completely up to you.  Aesthetics aside, as a general rule of thumb: if the pants you are wearing cut off the circulation from your upper body to lower body, it would be wise to consider wearing something else.

We’d like to hear what you have to say on the skinny jeans debate.

uNnecessary:

From the points I have made above about pants having more cons than pros and being inconvenient in almost every way, we can conclude that pants are indeed unnecessary.  There are always alternatives that are infinitely more comfortable and practical, like dresses, skirts, and robes!

According to some studies done by Totally Bogus University College Establishment Research Facility, there are certain types of pants that cause infertility.  This means pants kill babies.  You don’t want to be a baby killer do you?

Here are some tips on how to avoid being a baby killer:  Ladies: Wear dresses. They are comfortable, pretty, and they flatter every body type.  Skirts with or without leggings will also work.  Fellows: Wear kilts.  It’s all you can do, really.